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Fallen Angel

18 Mar

A curséd creature roamed these lands,
Nothing could ever satisfy its hunger for flesh…
Then came a goddess
To end its misery
And as it fell, it saw the sky for the first time…

I had to sacrifice a few words to said goddess to make this fit. One of trifecta’s last prompts 😦 I really hope the next one can be longer though because 33 words can be restricting…
This is only a poem because it wasn’t long enough / full enough to be anything else :p

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20 Comments

Posted by on 18 March 2014 in Banzaï, Trifecta

 

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20 responses to “Fallen Angel

  1. Christine

    18 March 2014 at 18:53

    Ooo, that last line is wonderful! I think this works both as a story and a poem. Nice job!

     
  2. theinnerzone

    18 March 2014 at 19:10

    I love this! Like christine said: powerful last line which makes it a story and a poem. the fitting of goddess instead of few words was worth it! 🙂

     
    • imab00kworm

      20 March 2014 at 10:07

      Thank you, yes it creates a certain contrast and raises a subtle question about good and evil I think…

       
  3. bloomnpsycho

    18 March 2014 at 19:26

    That was really beautiful. I recently wrote a “sympathy for the devil” type vignette on my team’s “underground” blog. I didn’t think that it would go over very well with the general public, but you seem to be the kind of person who might appreciate it.
    http://undeadinthenetherworld.blogspot.com/2014/03/origins-of-netherworld-lucifers.html
    I am now following your blog. 🙂

     
    • imab00kworm

      20 March 2014 at 10:17

      I think it’s always nice to try to show a different side of the story even if you don’t agree with it (but you might and that was a cool way of interpreting things) even just to make people reflect on what are to often given truths that no-one contests. As writers I believe that may be part of our job: go out there and show the world that life is not just black or white!
      Also I would love to follow your blog but I’m not on blogspot… I have bookmarked it and I’ll check it every now and again 🙂

       
  4. jannatwrites

    19 March 2014 at 18:38

    The last line is intriguing. I agree, 33 words doesn’t give much to tell a story. (I was confused, because I thought the Trifectas were up to 333 words, and this challenge was a Trifecta… but the instructions said 33 words (like the Trifextras.) )

     
    • imab00kworm

      20 March 2014 at 10:18

      yes Trifecta made me learn to do with what I was given and I have become a better writer (if only slightly) thanks to them

       
  5. joetwo

    20 March 2014 at 13:24

    Nice piece. It can be a blessing in disguise sometimes.

     
    • imab00kworm

      20 March 2014 at 17:41

      Aye, in this case “it” was freed from the curse bestowed upon it…

       
  6. Leigh W. Smith

    21 March 2014 at 16:07

    Oh, how I love the fantastical element when I read a story! Yours might even be said to echo the story of Lucifer, too. Very nice work!

     
    • imab00kworm

      22 March 2014 at 10:19

      Great minds think alike :p
      Thank you!

       
  7. H.L. Pauff (@HLPauff)

    21 March 2014 at 23:16

    Very cool. There’s a bigger story here

     
    • imab00kworm

      22 March 2014 at 10:23

      Yup and that’s often the cool part when you tell a story in 33 words: much is left unsaid and yet you often see through that and you want to know more. That’s the charm of this kind of challenge 🙂

       
  8. atrm61

    22 March 2014 at 17:32

    I like the way you went with this one-salvation for the cursed creature and relief for others,beautiful!

     
  9. KymmInBarcelona

    23 March 2014 at 20:43

    I like how it only saw the sky as it fell.

     
    • imab00kworm

      24 March 2014 at 13:46

      All its worries were gone and it’s kind of as if before there were too many thoughts to actually see the simple beauty. How often do you stop and just look at the sky thinking how beautiful it is?

       
  10. trifectawriting

    24 March 2014 at 06:10

    Killer closing line. I love that it saw beauty only on its way out.

     

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