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Speakeasy 165 – Madness

09 Jun

The stars shone so bright it seemed like day and they were blinding, the birds flew so high they were but bright specks in the sky and their song was so loud it could be heard from miles around and everywhere bright splashing colours invaded the space around me; the grass was a sparkling emerald the tree seemed twice as big and loomed as crimson drops of blood fell everywhere like soft blossom petals to cover everything they touched and all around me there was no-one, just the voices in my head, taunting, “We gave it everything we had, but it wasn’t enough” and in that scene too bright there was something so horribly wrong and ugly and the tears of one thousand dead people fell from the sky too bright full of stars and onto the grass, ruby smothering the emerald and the blue sky that wasn’t blue wept and all the ghosts in my head were crying out and I saw I was confined between invisible blood-red walls and the tree was blank as it shed its tears like a million little stars and crystals falling like feathers startlingly red while the voices in my head screamed “Murderer!”.
And everything died down, the stars dimmed and fell to ashes at my feet, the grass grew yellow and came to dust and the blood kept falling, it couldn’t stop falling and I was falling, tumbling through the void of the colour red: a million different shades,
a million different ways to die.


……………….:;&8731/;)&8hello!…………………………………..

This time the media prompt was Muse – Feeling Good and the music video is… well, kind of the same atmosphere I tried to reproduce here, though I’m not sure I succeeded :/
Please tell me if it’s rubbish because from my point of view I can’t quite tell. Maybe I completely failed at what I was trying to do…

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21 Comments

Posted by on 9 June 2014 in Banzaï, Speakeasy

 

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21 responses to “Speakeasy 165 – Madness

  1. thewizardsword

    10 June 2014 at 19:46

    Wow. That was intense! Love the stream of consciousness. Seems so real… Well done!

     
  2. jannatwrites

    11 June 2014 at 07:15

    I like the surreal dream-like feeling of this! The last line was bit unsettling, ‘a million different ways to die.’

     
    • imab00kworm

      11 June 2014 at 07:44

      I would’ve thought “murderer!” would be the most unsettling but it’s true that the last lines often stick longer and echo around our heads.
      Thanks for reading and commenting 😀

       
  3. Suzanne

    11 June 2014 at 19:08

    Love the way the imagery slowly slides from beauty to ugliness. I definitely got the sense of someone unraveling – very similar in mood and tone to the video. Nicely done!

     
  4. Meg

    12 June 2014 at 04:15

    Really breathtaking (really, you can’t breathe!) to read stream of consciousness…great take on the prompt.

     
    • imab00kworm

      12 June 2014 at 10:43

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

       
  5. Silverleaf

    12 June 2014 at 17:40

    I really like stream of consciousness, the way it starts off slowly then picks up and carries you away with it, leaving you gasping for breath. This piece accomplished that – and the last line was brilliant!

     
    • imab00kworm

      12 June 2014 at 19:00

      Thank you so much! I wasn’t sure if it would work but I’m glad it did 🙂
      A memorable last line is always good to make something stand out I’ve noticed…

       
  6. Bastet

    12 June 2014 at 18:19

    Good one…an interesting write and love how it flows … your powers of discription are exceptional.

     
    • imab00kworm

      12 June 2014 at 19:08

      Thank you! Unfortunately with trifecta I didn’t have the space for description so I had to learn what was the most important and how to make an effective text without too much description but here I’m glad I can write longer stuff because I can add more of it which I like doing 😀
      One of the things I love with the English language is its variety in words… There’s always the perfect word and it’s easy not to repeat yourself. I have much more trouble with that in French.

       
      • Bastet

        13 June 2014 at 04:50

        Well…actually learning how to cut back on unneccesary words is actually a good thing, but I know what you mean. It’s fun to be able to write something with more than 33 or 333 words! I have to agree about English. One of it’s beauties is that it’s stolen uhm borrowed words from all over the world making them English and creating a vocabulary that is the envy of the world! Have fun writing, you’re good at it and the best way to get better is writing I’m told! Have a great week.

         
      • imab00kworm

        13 June 2014 at 07:22

        Thank you!! ❤
        You too (you're good at writing and have a great week)!

         
      • Bastet

        13 June 2014 at 08:46

        Thanks! ❤ to you two too!

         
      • imab00kworm

        13 June 2014 at 08:47

        :p I’ll pass on the message

         
      • Bastet

        14 June 2014 at 04:21

        🙂

         
  7. Brian Benoit

    12 June 2014 at 19:29

    I think you pulled it off – the stream of consciousness and the feeling of thoughts only loosely connected definitely conveys madness (also, good Muse reference). Nice one!

     
    • imab00kworm

      13 June 2014 at 07:17

      Thank you! (And I hadn’t thought about it at the time but there’s also a muse song called “Madness” so double muse reference 😉 )

       
  8. Kathy Combs (@Kathy29156)

    13 June 2014 at 02:31

    Loved the flow and how it seemed like a dream.

     

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