Shadorma – Regrets

14 Jun



Little trin-
Kets, small memories
Of days gone
Days past and
All the possibilities
All that could have been.

I wanted
To run far away,
Not knowing
I was right
Where I should have been until
I had packed up; left.

Now I look
Back at memories
Of the past
Could I have stayed maybe?
Or could I go back?

Is the past
The past or is it
A lesson?
Can we learn
From our mistakes and can we
Choose how to live life?


I have exams I should really study for but no… here I am.
Anyway I think this time the form went a little better than last time 🙂

For those who don’t know a shadorma is a poem with 3-5-3-3-7-5 syllables and as many stanzas as you want.


Posted by on 14 June 2014 in Banzaï, Shadorma



22 responses to “Shadorma – Regrets

  1. Bastet

    14 June 2014 at 10:31

    You wrote a very beautiful set of shadorma here … melancholy but wise too. Thank you so much for entering your post for the Shadorma prompt!

    • imab00kworm

      14 June 2014 at 16:14

      Thanks for the praise. That partly came from experience because when I was in England I was always the French girl and I wanted to go back to France except for the last year I was there because I had good friends and I liked my school and I didn’t want to leave. So I had to come “back” to France after having grown up in England and I feel more English than French but it took me living in France to see that.
      Now I’ve settled in okay though but it was especially hard the first year. It would’ve been worse if I hadn’t met DragonSpark though 🙂

      • Bastet

        15 June 2014 at 05:11

        Ah…interesting. We often feel that being somewhere else will be better, until we get to that somewhere else and discover that the grass isn’t at all greener. Happy you’ve been able to find DragonSpark to help you resettle in France. The poem transmits very well your sensations of dislocation … really well done.

      • imab00kworm

        15 June 2014 at 08:03

        Thanks, except that unlike in the poem I didn’t have a choice I had to follow my parents so there wasn’t much wondering “should I have stayed? Should I go back?” Of course maybe I will go back but now that’ll have to be after university or college or whatever I do. I’m going back for a week I see some friends this summer though so that’ll be cool 🙂

      • Bastet

        16 June 2014 at 05:20

        Dosen’t help much but that was also the story of my life until I was 18, before that age I was just part of the “bagage” that got packed up when my father was transfered to another place of work! 🙂

      • imab00kworm

        16 June 2014 at 07:24

        Ouch, I only moved twice (that I remember): once to somewhere not too far away in primary school so I had to change school and then that time I came to France. From what you said it seems you would have moved a lot more often

      • Bastet

        16 June 2014 at 08:25

        Yep I travelled a lot … and did so as an adult as well until around 1994 when I finally settled down here in Trentino, Italy.

      • imab00kworm

        16 June 2014 at 11:28

        That sounds cool but it must’ve been pretty hard leaving your friends behind all the time especially since communication wasn’t as advanced as it is nowadays. I still keep in touch with my friends from England with Facebook.

      • Bastet

        16 June 2014 at 12:14

        Ah yes it was very difficult at times…now days it’s not quite as hard I think.

      • imab00kworm

        16 June 2014 at 13:29


  2. Tracesofthesoul

    15 June 2014 at 05:45

    What a lovely post!! I can relate to missing home being half French and half English…missing home until I realized you can make your home anywhere really if you are open to friends in your life.

    • imab00kworm

      15 June 2014 at 08:09

      Yup! Except that I’m shy and introvert so making friends was the problem. I also don’t like the overall French mentality (at least what I know of it) and I know there are some exceptions because some of them are my friends but these people tend to be not completely French or to have travelled. But I’ve gotten used to being in France and I have to admit it I pretty cool to live close enough to the Eiffel Tower to be able to go in about 30mins and there are some pretty cool things around and in Paris 🙂
      Except when there are train strikes of course >.<

      • Tracesofthesoul

        15 June 2014 at 08:12

        Ah yes, strikes…we have not had Metro strikes in a while in Montreal but there are delays many times to get to work. Being half and half I’ve always felt I sit on the fence with not just 2 languages but 2 cultures.

      • imab00kworm

        15 June 2014 at 08:22

        I suppose Quebec is a nice place to be for you seeing as there’s a bit of both English (well more American I think) and French. I’ve also found my half an half as the school I go to has an international English section (as well as a smaller German one but most I those people have rarely been to Germany) so I get to keep speaking English with some people and meet people in the same situation as me and people who have travelled and we have interesting debates (trainers vs sneakers, tomahto vs tomaeto, plaster vs band aid…) so it’s not that bad an I also have a few French friends (not to say I have many international friends I only have a few of those too) and I’ve gotten pretty accustomed to everything.
        Did you know that at train stations you can ask for a “billet de retard” which is a paper they sign and stamp to prove that you’re late because there were trains problems?

      • Tracesofthesoul

        15 June 2014 at 08:26

        Ha, that is great but our Metro workers would be upset to have to work that hard!! haha. The english here are Canadian…not American…there is a difference…they are closer to British conservatism but speak a bit American I guess. But I still spell British English which is Canadian. That would be cool to have un billet de retard…my boss says to just leave much earlier.

      • imab00kworm

        15 June 2014 at 08:43

        Unfortunately I take the bus so I don’t get one :p

      • Tracesofthesoul

        15 June 2014 at 08:47

        Well the bus is a huge issue here too as I have to cross the bridge (which is falling apart) to get to the Metro. Have a great day…I should turn in it’s 3:45 am. here

      • imab00kworm

        15 June 2014 at 09:09

        Ok good night 🙂

  3. Abhilasha S.

    16 June 2014 at 15:39

    Wow, you captured the feeling beautifully 🙂

  4. readinpleasure

    16 June 2014 at 17:02

    A beautiful poem, with sad undertones. 🙂

    • imab00kworm

      16 June 2014 at 17:11

      Thank you, your praise is appreciated 🙂


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