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The place that life did shun

14 Jul

Where have all the flowers gone?

For winter’s been and done,

What have all the people done

To make such beauty run?

 

It is because the flowers know

That people burn and kill,

The war and devastation show

That coulors suit us ill.

 

The sun starts to fades away

To leave us in the dark,

Such creatures don’t deserve to stay

Lighted by a spark.

 

The flowers bleed their sorrow and hurt

For Man has pierced their shield:

Their brothers laid down in the dirt

Under the poppy fields.

 

………….•••••••••••………..•••••••••……..••••••••………•••••••……..•••••…….••••••…..

 

I’m sorry this had to be so sad and I’m not sure I’ll be uploading this to the grid, I’ll probably find something more fun :/

Ok scrap that I wrote something I liked a little more but it was way too long (over 900 words) and I didn’t have the heart to cut it that much so I’m going to cheat by adding a link if you want to see it but feel free to ignore it. Here it is

Feel free to comment on anything you see should you choose to roam around this blog (I even encourage you do so) even if something is months old it’s always nice to get new feedback or even just appreciation (or depreciation but with reason). Also if you want to participate in a friendly prompt or prompt me (or us, I think DragonSpark would be happy to give it a go) do so, go ahead 🙂

By the way I’m leaving for two weeks on Friday so don’t be offended if it takes me a while to answer, I promise I’ll answer you when I get back.
If you read this far thank you for bearing with me as I rambled on ^^’

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23 Comments

Posted by on 14 July 2014 in Banzaï

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

23 responses to “The place that life did shun

  1. DragonSpark

    15 July 2014 at 00:26

    Are you kidding? This is (in my humble opinion) amongst your most moving poems! If you ask me, this should totally go up on up on the grid. Congrats!

     
    • imab00kworm

      15 July 2014 at 08:31

      Thanks but I don’t like the way it turned out and I want to try and do something else, a story. But thank you 🙂

       
      • Jen

        17 July 2014 at 16:48

        OMG crazy. This was SUPER GOOD!!

         
      • imab00kworm

        17 July 2014 at 16:57

        Thank you! 😀

         
  2. MamaMickTerry

    16 July 2014 at 14:10

    It may be sad, but it’s that sad parts in life that help us appreciate the happy, right? And, personally, I think about the soldiers laying in fields of poppies quite often. I loved your tribute. It is perfect!

     
    • imab00kworm

      16 July 2014 at 17:31

      Thank you so much! “it’s the sad parts in life that help us appreciate the happy” is only too true and thank you for saying it’s perfect 🙂
      It’s not my only tribute to that, I’ve written a few others scattered around if you want me to find the links for you I’ll gladly put them in a comment but I don’t like to be too sad so I try not to write too much about it, that and the fact that I have no experience of war which makes me feel like I’m cheating…

       
  3. moonbear42

    16 July 2014 at 19:15

    It has such a beautiful, dark composure. Great poem!

     
  4. Silverleaf

    16 July 2014 at 20:18

    I really enjoyed this, in the same way I enjoy In Flanders Fields, for example. I don’t think you have to have been there to be able to appreciate the sacrifice or to communicate it. And sad isn’t so bad – it touches you in a very real way.

     
    • imab00kworm

      16 July 2014 at 20:55

      Thank you and wow thanks for comparing it to such a good poem! I am but a mere jester foolishly putting words together… Thank you for the compliments 🙂

       
  5. MamaMickTerry

    17 July 2014 at 04:35

    I will send you my links when I get back to a computer (ugh…stuck at a day job conference with just an iPhone)
    Thanks for your interest and for sending me your stories. I can’t wait to read them!!

     
    • imab00kworm

      17 July 2014 at 08:35

      🙂

       
      • MamaMickTerry

        18 July 2014 at 02:03

        Hey friend!
        Just getting back to you. Here’s a link to my latest tribute post http://wp.me/p3WHDW-pW The second link is actually contained with that post,too.
        I can’t wait to read yours! I’m finally getting all the Yeah Write posts read for voting. So many great ones!!

         
      • imab00kworm

        1 August 2014 at 16:43

        Thanks I will check it out when I have a better connection 🙂 unfortunately in was gone so I didn’t get to vote. I’ll check out the site for the summer lessons and other entries later

         
  6. inNateJames

    17 July 2014 at 18:33

    I like your tone and word choices throughout the poem, but especially in the second stanza. The personification of the flowers and their being wiser than people was interesting. I have one question about the last stanza, if the flowers are gone how are “their brothers under the poppy fields”? That implies to me that the poppies are still there. Am I reading it wrong?

     
    • imab00kworm

      3 August 2014 at 11:41

      Thank you! About that line it’s kind of awkward, I meant Man’s brothers and the bleeding was the poppies over the dead but I don’t think I made it clear enough…

       
  7. Kathy Combs (@Kathy29156)

    18 July 2014 at 01:29

    The question “Where have the flowers gone?” demands a sad response so I feel your response is right on. I loved how much depth of emotion you exhibited in your poem. I love the line “The flowers bleed their sorrow and hurt.” That has the WOW factor. Brilliant piece of writing! ♥

     
    • imab00kworm

      1 August 2014 at 16:40

      Thank you! I know I’m super late for these now but better late than never ^.^’

       
  8. searchingforsubstance

    18 July 2014 at 02:58

    whoa. that last stanza. love the metaphor. like ‘bleed’ and ‘shield’ and ‘laid down.’ props!

     

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