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YeahWrite Summer 2014- Crack in the window

28 Jul

The green bar completes its journey across the monitor. The screen illuminates the room, the only other source of light being the thin rays that filter through the paper blinds. Outside, the sun is setting. Despite the relatively cool air, I am sweating. The air is tense. My muscles ache from exhaustion. I control my breathing to be as quiet as possible, knowing it is useless. Security will be here soon. The comforting pressure of a 9mm gun on my left rib helps me to keep a cool head. A strange thought pierces the surface of my mental stream: How many 16 year olds have infiltrated tight security compounds over the course of espionage’s relatively short history?

Hurried steps echo in the corridor. A short moment of silence is interrupted by the mechanical click of a loaded firearm. A nervous voice is muffled by the wooden door, the crack of a radio following the stereotypical “Over!” A message of completion appears on the screen before me. The data transfer is over

.
Just in time…

I snatch the USB key from the computer and stuff it in the inner pocket of my suit. The door explodes behind me as I burst into a sprint. The blast of a shotgun erupts from behind. I hear the burning metal pellets whistle by my skull as they crash into the window before me, cracking it. My job thus made easier by my pursuers, I dive elbow first into the glass obstacle, and fall through it. The still, artificially fresh air of the office gives way to the dry summer wind. Thirty floors of empty air separate my falling body from the hot pavement.

After a few seconds, I pull the strap hidden under my suit, releasing a parachute camouflaged within. My velocity is reduced abruptly. Overhead, voices shout in anger. I hear the explosions of a familiar shotgun crack through the evening sky. A quick glimpse downwards allows me to estimate to about 15 seconds the remainder of my fall. I take my small gun from its holster and quickly shift my weight forwards, making the parachute dip back. My line of sight now clear, I aim the deadly tool up towards my assailants, and pull the trigger. The recoil of the gun doesn’t help my muscular exhaustion in any way. One of the men’s silhouette tumbles back into the office, a scream of pain accompanying his fall. Once the distance between my feet and the pavement is reduced to about 6 feet, I cut the strings of my parachute and let myself fall to the ground.

A Porsche 911GT3 pulls up, the new girl, Sam, at the wheel. “Where on earth did you find THAT!?” I ask, a little startled by the beautiful German supercar. “Does it really matter? Get in here now!” She replies, her voice barely understandable because of the engine’s steady purr and her heavy Russian accent. I collapse onto the passenger seat, exhausted, and let the muffled roar of the engine drift me away from reality, and into sleep, as Sam’s expert driving gets us far away from any possibility of pursuit.

Man, who knew being a spy was so tiring? They forgot to mention that in James Bond…

…………………………………….ISPY//w//..MYLITTLEEYES……………………………………………………

Stereotypical spy story for this week, also the sequel to this post. I decided to write in present tense this week, as a sort of experiment. And sorry for letting my petrol-head ways show in this post, but if you’re going to escape, might as well do it in style right? Consider yourself lucky. I could have talked about the 3.7L, 475 break horse power V6 in AGONIZING detail for anyone who’s not into that stuff… But I held it all in. That’s dedication right there!

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16 Comments

Posted by on 28 July 2014 in Dragonspark, Speakeasy

 

Tags: , ,

16 responses to “YeahWrite Summer 2014- Crack in the window

  1. Love Happy Notes - Daily Fun and Inspiration

    30 July 2014 at 18:08

    Love it!

     
    • DragonSpark

      30 July 2014 at 18:26

      Haha thanks! This post doesn’t seem comment friendly so congrats on being first!

       
  2. Celine Jeanjean

    31 July 2014 at 08:45

    That was loads of fun! I actually like that you have some more realistic details (such as the recoil of the gun) to ground the story in reality. I love James Bond, and those kind of almost tongue in cheek spy stories. They’re so much fun aren’t they? And I like that nod to vintage Bond films with the russian girl 😉

     
    • DragonSpark

      31 July 2014 at 08:57

      Actually, Sam is the character from the prequel, but it does fit surprisingly well. Glad to know you’re also a Bond fan. Did you also get that anniversary 26 dvd box set? 😉 Thanks for stopping by! Glad you liked it!

       
      • Celine Jeanjean

        31 July 2014 at 09:01

        No, but now I think that I should!! See this is the issue with living out in Hong Kong I’m totally out of the loop. One of my best friends and I had started this thing where we were going to watch all the Bonds in order but we got interrupted half way. Must get on top of that again.

        Favourite Bond? (mine’s Sean Connery)

         
      • Celine Jeanjean

        31 July 2014 at 10:00

        Hey I actually nominated you for an awesome blog reader award – it’s been fun chatting to you in the comment sections! no pressure to accept or do anything, just a little way to say thanks for commenting on the blog. 🙂

         
      • DragonSpark

        31 July 2014 at 10:47

        I’d have to say Roger Moore. He’s so unappreciated! Closely followed by Pierce Brosnan. As for the Award, It would be my pleasure to accept! What do I have to do?

         
      • Celine Jeanjean

        31 July 2014 at 11:01

        Agreed on Pierce Brosnan, I’ve never been a fan of Roger Moore though. I know quite a few people who like him so I think he does alright! 😉

        Just hop on over to my blog for the award and you can see how it all goes….

         
  3. Blake

    31 July 2014 at 15:10

    Another pulse-pounding adventure! My favourite line was this: “Thirty floors of empty air separate my falling body from the hot pavement,” which reads as being cool and dramatic at the same time 🙂
    One thing I might query would be this: “espionage’s relatively short history.” My guess is that espionage probably started as soon as the first nation/tribe/community split into two. Of course, if you were referring specifically to cyber espionage…

     
    • DragonSpark

      31 July 2014 at 19:31

      I meant espionage as in “modern” espionage, the one that was founded and developed because of the Cold War. I’m really glad you liked this. Pulse-pounding is very much what I was going for, at a lesser degree. “Exiting” would have satisfied me, so this is just awesome! Thanks a bunch for stopping by and commenting!

       
  4. fatgirlinboxinggloves

    31 July 2014 at 16:12

    DS, I enjoyed your foray into the present tense. It works well with this story. Your opening paragraph is spot on. The first two sentences drew me in immediately.

    P.S. I wish I had a secret parachute tucked under my clothing at all times. There are so many life moments where that would come in VERY handy.

     
    • DragonSpark

      31 July 2014 at 19:38

      Awesome! I’m glad you liked that. As far as the parachute goes, I totally agree, because a) it’s so badass, b) It’s the quickest getaway ever, provided you’re high up. Then again, the very fact that you are here commenting proves such a commodity never would have saved your life in the literal sense! 😉

       
  5. Melanie L.

    31 July 2014 at 20:02

    Very entertaining. I love your ability to craft action scenes. If I may say, I got a little tripped up reading “I jab the USB key from the computer. . .” because I was not expecting a “from” following a jab so I had to reread it. I loved the present tense and would definitely say you have a knack for exciting, tense action!

     
    • DragonSpark

      31 July 2014 at 20:42

      Haha I’m glad you think that. The reason I focus on action is because I’m horrible at the whole subtle emotion thing. I’m like a sledgehammer, whereas many of you guys here are razor sharp knives. As for the line you tripped on, I had my doubts while writing it. At first it was “grabbed” but “jab” had a quickness to it that I liked. Any suggestions? I can always switch it to a better word.
      Whether you chose to reply or not, thanks for stopping by and commenting. Glad I could entertain you for a brief moment.

       
  6. Melanie L.

    1 August 2014 at 02:31

    Hmm suggestions to replace jab? I like grab. I also like snatch. They’re both pretty short in the present tense. Oh and I forgot to say something about why I like the present tense: it highlights the fast-paced action. Action reads just fine in past tense but putting it in present tense, I think, helps emphasize the tension and need for urgency. We readers are more in the moment with the character in present tense.

     
    • DragonSpark

      1 August 2014 at 09:31

      Snatch is perfect! Thanks a lot. And thanks also on the heads up for the present tense. I wish I had similar insights to provide you in return… Anyway, thanks for commenting. 😄

       

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