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Mental Captivity

10 Jun

Locked up
Locked in
Locked out.
Checked upon
To see if I
Conform well.
I don’t.
But I’m terrified they’ll find out.
They.
They don’t know.
They can’t understand that I’m falling,
Desperately grabbing onto loose
Ends
Friends
Anything that will keep me sane
Because as soon as I admit,
Nothing can ever be the same.
And I’m terrified,
But my voice is too quiet
It doesn’t shout
Like everyone else’s.

They don’t know I’m falling
Because to them I’m standing still.

The sentinels come
And stare,
But they only see
What they want to see.
So they can’t see the truth.
And they can’t be told because they don’t understand.
They won’t, or they can’t?
I don’t know.
They don’t know
I’m falling
Because to them
I’m standing still.
Locked in
Locked out
Locked up.

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2 Comments

Posted by on 10 June 2015 in Banzaï

 

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2 responses to “Mental Captivity

  1. jannatwrites

    20 July 2015 at 05:30

    The thing I like about poetry is that it is highly subject to the reader’s experience and interpretation. I don’t know your inspiration for this, but through the lens of my experience, I was able to relate to it. I’ve been going through stuff and sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind, but no one can see it. They take “I’m doing fine” at face value. I hope you are doing okay 🙂

     
    • imab00kworm

      8 August 2015 at 23:06

      Sorry my wordpress app isnt working very well so I only saw the comment now!
      Yes that was kind of the point, I’m glad you could relate to it (well actually I would rather you weren’t feeling crazy but what I mean is that it’s nice to find out it was understandable).
      I don’t know actually, it comes and goes, I think its mainly loneliness that triggers it for me so when I start feeling like that I try to meet up with friends if anyone can, otherwise I’ll try chatting with friends by text or on facebook. Right now I’m ok, I’m in Spain with my parents and brothers so that’s cool!
      I hope you’re feeling better and I hope you have people around you who can see through that “I’m fine”. 🙂
      Maybe a stupid cute cat video can cheer you up a bit. I hear those are popular 😉
      *internet hug*

       

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