I was facing away from her, seemingly calm. She was in a cage. I’d put her there so she couldn’t hurt anyone. I tried to ignore her.
“She doesn’t want to know!” She screamed. “You’re always there when She needs you but suddenly when you need help She’s not there!”
She was banging her fists against the bars. “Why can’t you see?! She thinks you’re just having a not-very-happy moment and She doesn’t care!” She was yelling. “She never cares about how you feel!”
I whipped around, “You have no right to say that!” I screamed back. She took a step back. I continued more calmly, “She could be feeling bad or even depressed and here we are with our problems or She could just not have even read our message, you have no right to make such assumptions. If She feels bad her troubles come first.”
“Can’t you see?!” She was shaking, “She never pays attention to how you feel it even annoys Her sometimes when She knows you’re not OK! Can’t you see how one sided this is?!” She was desperate.
“Just let me be unimportant OK?!” I yelled back, “let me go back to being the one no-one cares about! Let me be there for Her if it can help and if She doesn’t want to know when I’m not OK then never mind! Let me be no-one, because it doesn’t hurt as much when it’s normal. Letting you out would only make things worse. I’m sorry.”
We were both shaking now. We were both crying. I suppose we were both in a cage.
“I’m sorry” I whispered to myself, “I’m sorry.”
• • •
I woke up and watched my phone finally connect to WiFi. I had new messages, from Her.
“This is why I put you in a cage” I whispered, “I was right.” I felt ashamed, “She’s been there for us so many times, how dare you say She doesn’t care about me?”
I turned around to look at her. She was no longer caged up, she no longer needed to be. She just looked at me. “I hate you for that” I told her. She knew better than to answer.