Ghost in real life

It’s been a year.
I keep getting dragged back though.
To that old house,
It’s like it’s haunted,
And I’m the ghost.

It’s cold
All the time,
The windows and doors
Are all open,
But I can’t leave

It’s a dusty old house
Darkened by the smoke
And the passage of time
I can almost
Feel it flinch
With the passing cars

I’m all alone this time,
It’s not what’s there
That haunts me,
It’s what isn’t

You left me there
And I needed you
To come back,
But you
Didn’t

And now
I’ve become a ghost
Forever
Waiting
For our lost time.

I’m scared
To make a sound
What if you knew?
Could you forgive yourself?
I
Just want to
Leave

I sit alone
And cry at night
On the tiled floor.
A wild cat passes right through me.
The Sun never reaches my skin.

Wherever I am
I am here
Lost
In a place I know
Too well

 

Sea

Branches with silver leaves

Swaying gently in the breeze
Behind it a blue morning sky, 
Announcing the day to come.
The smell of the sea stings a little, 
The sounds of waves crashing in the distance
Remind you of where you are.

And you hear something new,
A guitar, not far,
Voices singing with that morning dissonance,
Inviting heads to turn,
People to come out of tents,
Other morning voices to join.

For a moment,
Despite how
Tired,
Sunburned,
Mosquito-bitten,
Or dirty
You might feel,
It feels like you’ve found a patch of heaven on earth
In this moment everything is fine.
You start humming along to the song,
Slowly getting up from the place you slept,
And you feel like you’ve been here all your life.
You know these strangers by name,
Somehow in the night they became family,
Uncomplicated and open,
And you’re finally home.

 

Moving On

“As you all know,”
Said the big ones
“They’re selling the house,
And we’re making a list,
Of things you might want to keep.”
We looked at each other,
Reluctantly starting;

We wanted
The thick wooden beams
We would climb up on
And the beds underneath them
That we’d jump onto.

We wanted
The trees in the field
That would catch our footballs and rugby and tennis and golf balls,
And the big oak with the rope we’d swing on.

We wanted
The big old trampoline in the garden,
The basketball post and the swimming pool,
And the cherry tree.

We wanted
The big room
That found a new life when 16 cousins
Spent the night talking and hushing each other
On mattresses on its floor.

We wanted
The space under the stairs
Where we’d hide
And grab unwary feet.

We wanted
The big plastic boot
We’d stand in when were small enough
Or wear and try to walk with.

We wanted
The plastic stools and broken guitars
We’d do our private concerts with,
Singing at deodorants next to a pillow fight.

We wanted
The inn we’d created in the barn
With an old table and some crates,
And a few empty bottles to drink out of.

We wanted the grass,
The sun and the rain and the mud,
The rainbows and all the memories we’d created
Year after year.

We wanted the whole house
With its field and its garden and the barn.

We looked at each other,
The big and the small
And the in-betweens,
And we knew we wanted those things
Precisely because they were things
That you could never take away from this place.
They were what made it home,
And no-one would see it like we did until they’d grown up in it,
Felt the rain and the mud,
The sun and the dust,
The spiders and the flies,
The scolding because of dirty shirts
And sleepless nights.

…………………………………………………itsbeensolong……………………

I found this when I was looking through my notes and I just realised I never published it so here it is ^^

According to my notes I wrote (or at least last modified) this poem in march 2016 so two years ago