Monthly Archives: June 2015


If I were green or blue
If I fell in love with you
If I thought not as you do
Would you still love me as you do?
Or would you treat me like some goo?
Because I’m not the same as you?

If I were asking you to choose
One or the other of your shoes
If you could just take me apart
Replace the thoughts inside my heart
If you could keep the bits you like
And throw away those that you don’t
Scream it all out from a mic
Because you think that you won’t
Mind if half of me is gone.
If all the fights that I have won
Disappear out in the blue
And I agree with all you do
If you rip me up in two
Keep all the nice of me for you
Then I would not be me
No I would not even be

If you think that you can silence me
On all those things we don’t agree on
Then it’s far worse than a tyranny
‘Cause I’d have nothing left to go on
If you take away my thought
If you take away my words
If you bring me back to nought
Forget those things that you have heard,

If you won’t listen
To what I have to say
Then who are you
To tell me
What I
To be?


This poem dates from February 2014, that just goes to show how even my numerical stuff is in such a mess, I found this today and decided to share it before I forgot it even existed.

My last exam ever (for this school year anyway) is a history-geography oral tomorrow morning so I should really be working on that and I’ll be more active after that (until my camp that is).

On other news, yay for gay pride!

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Posted by on 28 June 2015 in Banzaï



Mental Captivity

Locked up
Locked in
Locked out.
Checked upon
To see if I
Conform well.
I don’t.
But I’m terrified they’ll find out.
They don’t know.
They can’t understand that I’m falling,
Desperately grabbing onto loose
Anything that will keep me sane
Because as soon as I admit,
Nothing can ever be the same.
And I’m terrified,
But my voice is too quiet
It doesn’t shout
Like everyone else’s.

They don’t know I’m falling
Because to them I’m standing still.

The sentinels come
And stare,
But they only see
What they want to see.
So they can’t see the truth.
And they can’t be told because they don’t understand.
They won’t, or they can’t?
I don’t know.
They don’t know
I’m falling
Because to them
I’m standing still.
Locked in
Locked out
Locked up.


Posted by on 10 June 2015 in Banzaï



With not a cloud in the sky

The first proper day of summer started off quite chilly. I had 4 hours of English literature exam but as I came out it was summer. Everyone took off their jackets and jumpers. There was that air of lightness that we knew wouldn’t last long. It was the calm between two storms. People were sitting in the sun and in the shade but everyone was outside and as soon as you went inside it was so dark, so everyone stayed outside. A few went to class, some didn’t have class, some didn’t go. The Sun brought smiles to many faces, people wearing light clothes and hearts smiled at each other and every brooding child at the bus stop eventually saw a friend coming. And the buses never came but that was ok because as soon as I got home I would have to work. As long as I’m waiting for the bus I can pretend that it’s summer and only that matters. 


Posted by on 4 June 2015 in lost things